Know Thy Audience: A Guide to Sounding Professional (or not)

      I recently had a discussion with some friends about conduct in and out of the workplace, which led to a larger discussion that how someone speaks in different situations has an impact on the general perception of their knowledge and competency. A couple days after this I thought I'd compile a list of words that shouldn't be used if you want to be taken seriously. I already knew a couple of the words/phrases that were like nails on a chalkboard to me (no matter the situation really), but I wanted to get your input as well. (See tweet here). I originally thought this list could be used for almost any setting, but then thought I should break it down a little further. In a world where memes have broken into every day life by being on the news, in advertisements, and even at work it's sometimes hard for some to make a distinction as to when certain behaviors and phrases are acceptable. It's not only wording that we should worry about either. It's the entirety of your being. Yes you should be happy being yourself and shouldn't bow down to please the entire world. That being said, you should always still remain clean cut, take showers, apply deodorant, wear clean clothes, and not punch people in the face as they walk by.
     We should first break social and professional settings up into different categories. Each of these categories are going to have different sub-levels as well.

1. Home - This is where you reside or spend time with close friends. Out on the patio grilling and drinking beer, playing video games, or binging on Netflix. You are free to act as asinine as you want with little to no repercussions to your actions. Of course there are rules of conduct at home, just like anywhere else. You don't wear your shoes on the carpet, you need to rinse your dishes, but you can still lounge around in your underwear with your hands down your pants with no judgement or impact to your overall path in life.
2. General Public -  Obviously a step above the home life. You wear respectable clothing depending on where you're headed. A 5 star restaurant will demand different attire and attitude then waltzing into Walmart at 3a.m., but they are still in view of strangers of different backgrounds and situations. You'll speak with a little more clarity, as inside jokes and rules from home aren't widely known to the rest of the masses.
3. Professional Event - There are so many different sub-levels of professional events. You may be an industry leader at a very formal suit & tie event, or it could just be a local meetup of peers. At any level there is a certain amount of professionalism and tact that others will associate with you based on your words, how you dress, your demeanor, and actions. I've had soooo many conversations with people and with people in the same room as me that were insanely smart and helpful. How you act could be the difference in them blowing you off or offering you a job, book deal, or other opportunity.
4. Workplace - Again, so may different sub-levels depending on the industry you work in, your role, and the company you work for. Over the last several jobs I've had there are vastly different rules as to what is and isn't appropriate. Sometimes I've had to cover up my tattoos, in other positions I could have had a face tattoo and bright pink hair with not even a second glance. So many decisions are based on how you read the situation. While I believe the majority of at least the USA is becoming more liberal in regards to judging people based on how they look, how you act and speak is still going to be a reflection of your persona overall. If the same person walked in to talk to an executive, to apply for a job, to sell a widget, or whatever....one time wearing a well fit suit and tie & speaking intelligently and the next time came in wearing last night's clothes and talking like a hoodrat, who makes the better first impression? I don't give two shits if they can accomplish the exact same thing, because perception matters!!
5. Social Media - Now Social Media is where it can get super fuzzy. There are a million different types of platforms for different reasons. While there are still private groups and direct messages you should always be aware that no matter how private it is, there is always the possibility of what has been written or shared to be shown publicly at any point in time. Whatever is on the internet stays there forever. You can actually break up social media into the 4 categories above. However it still all depends on context. I personally have a fairly open Facebook account, filled with a lot of different infosec people. Additionally I have security groups setup according to levels of trust. While this helps to a certain point, there's nothing stopping someone from taking a screenshot of anything that I might post and sharing it publicly or privately without me knowing. I have a public Twitter account as well, composed of a majority of information security professionals at different levels. I expect everything that I tweet to be seen by my employer, future employer, friends, family, and obviously the NSA. I personally try to keep it a good balance of quality content mixed with my own ranting and raving. However there are industry leaders that may only post on their infosec specialty. They are a higher content to crap ratio and will end up with a higher following and potentially better business and opportunities because of it.

Below is a list compiled from Twitter and Facebook of almost everything I've been sent. I've broken it up into "slang" and "industry annoyances". Either list should be used sparingly unless you're at home, at that point I don't really care what you say or how you say it. Slang is best suited for at home or depending on your end goal or personal situation could be used in the workplace or social media (again, in moderation). The industry annoyances come from the repetitive sales meetings, conference calls, and overall professional bullshit that most of us have to deal with daily. I personally think the terms listed here can have their place (in moderation....repeat much?) in making thoughts and strategy well articulated.

• Slang


• AF
• Amazeballs
• Bad boy
• Bae
• Bigly
• Boi
• Boo
• Buh
• Cray
• Dope
• Ehrmagerd
• Fam
• Fleek
• For realz
• Gucci
• Hashtag
• IKR?!
• Ktksbai
• Like a boss
• Lit
• Literally can't even
• Make some noise
• Mos def
• Please 1) check yourself before you 2) wreck yourself
• Rekt
• Right?!
• Salty
• Savage
• Swag
• Thic
• Thot
• Totes
• Triggered
• Turnt
• Woke (in any form)
• Yo
• Yolo

• Industry Annoyances


• "50 shades of X" (Play off of 50 Shades of Gray)
• "Make $noun $adjective again" (Play off of Make America Great Again)
• "training" as a countable noun
• Actually
• All intensive purpose
• And that being said
• Any form of "splaining"
• At the end of the day
• Basically
• But do you?
• Circle back down the drain
• Cyber
• For fun and profit
• Gartner
• Having said that
• If you will
• Irregardless
• Just so you know
• Obviously
• Per se
• Please advise
• Simply
• Sun Tzu quotes
• To be honest
• To your point
• Touch base

A special thanks to @haydnjohson for the insight

Other stuff from my amazingly stylish friend @Cyb3r_Assassin
https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-dressing-for-success-leads-to-success-1456110340

https://www.facebook.com/gqstyle/videos/10154695302463658/?hc_ref=SEARCH

Quit your bitching and get back to work

Regarding @tableflipclub

I normally wouldn't give this stuff a second glance. More girls bitching about unfair pay/opportunities. But since you asked here we go.

Do I believe them?
     I border on the line between not wanting to give a fuck about what they are saying and trying to believe that there is that much of an abundance of these type of companies out there. Because honestly I haven't had any bad experiences like they are referring to that have kept me down. They mention mediocre men whizzing by them, being called "shrill", "abrasive", and "hard to work with".        It's hard to put your self in someone else's shoes when you haven't had those types of experiences before. Taking that sort of "fuck this I'm out of here" attitude without being skeptical is really difficult. I've had many mediocre people whiz by me. Be it because of shitty management, people knowing how to bullshit, who they knew, or maybe because I didn't like my job and was being more mediocre than they were. Because we're in a male dominated industry of course an abundance of them are going to be men.
     Maybe you are difficult to work with. Lots of people are. There are three categories that I put people in to be able to stand working with them.
1. Kick ass technically, but an absolute jerk with no other qualities.
2. An amazing person, nice, polite, hard worker, but doesn't know how to do shit.
3. Half way between (or on the rare occasion both) 1 & 2.

If you aren't one of these three, I would't want to work with you either.

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one:

     We all have opinions and views that are based on where we've been in life, what we've seen, and the attitude we bring to the table. I've always been drawn to typical male job roles. The reason why is a whole other story for another day. My personal experiences have shaped my work ethic, my drive, and how I see the world. I was raised on a farm in the middle of nowhere, had a job in at orchard starting at 12, on a farm at 14, tractor supply after that, a couple more male dominated roles, and then into I.T. ALL of which were male dominated roles.
     What drew me to them was the lack of utter bullshit that large groups of women seem to spew out when all together. Yea boys can be dramatic, but it doesn't last, they don't hold grudges about stupid stuff, and I find them more pleasant to work with. Have I gotten paid less than my male counterparts? Sure I have, I know that for a fact. It's also a fact that men are more aggressive by nature, ask for more raises, take riskier career moves, and other things that would advance them faster than females would.
     So what did I do when I knew I was getting paid less than a male counterpart? I worked with my company to find out why. It wasn't because he was male btw (surprise surprise). They had offered to pay me equal, maybe a bit more. But it was still not as good as the next company. The previous year had helped shape me as a person even more, and I had grown technically. So I left, and let them know why. It wasn't because I was a girl, it was because they couldn't pay me as well as the next place.


My thoughts on sexism:

I already kind of summed them up here http://infosystir.blogspot.com/2014/08/soapbox-rant-sexism-bsideslv-bonehenge.html

It's really on my ideas of sexism in general, not so much as growing and achieving more in the workplace. But it still helps put some of my thoughts forward.


Why this type of movement annoys me:

     Quit your bitching and whining. Put your big girl panties on and get to work. Have you ever thought the reason you aren't moving up fast enough or getting paid more is because you do shitty work and need to try harder? Or maybe you really do work for a fucking horrible company, well leave and find one that treats you well. Don't ostracize everyone for the mistakes of a few. People that gravitate towards these type of movements are usually people I can't stand. Whiny, annoying, gen-x, "I deserve it because it's me" type people.
     Have I been called sexist before? Sure I have...people have tried to dox me because of being silly or not caring about the same things as them. But at the end of the day I'm the happy and content one. I don't let things get me down (too much anyways). Life isn't fair and I never forget it. But if I stop being content and happy, I change what needs to be.

I like how Georgia said it best "Do good work, speak at events, mentor young girls who are interested in tech, do anything besides just bitch about how oppressed you are please!"

#Soapbox #Rant #Sexism #BsidesLV #Bonehenge

So just in case it doesn't get approved for being a valid comment, here is my response to

http://valleywag.gawker.com/nothing-says-welcome-to-our-tech-conference-like-a-towe-1617722289

​I 100% agree with ladywhohacks. I was one of the chicks (and there were several of us) who helped the dudes create this amazing masterpiece of engineering. I don't normally get into the whole sexist in infosec bitchfest that manifests itself among articles like this as well as twitter, facebook, and other mediums unless I'm trolling them of course.  But I think we were all very proud of this! Every single one of us had fun erecting this magnificent structure.
​
​A couple things that are my views on the whole sexism stuff (I'm always willing to talk at length in private if you'd like):

1. I understand that some people have witnessed it first hand. But it's not just infosec it's life in general. Yea so have I.... so what. That doesn't mean that I'm going to get butt hurt on everything that has somewhat of a sexual connotation to it. Sex is awesome, it's in our lives everywhere, and it can be extremely funny. If it (or anything else for that matter) makes you uncomfortable, then leave or go into a profession that isn't so fun loving or crude. For God Sake McAfee signed a poster board sized goatse, and we're complaining about a tower of condoms?

2. It's awesome that they were promoting safe sex. But honestly how is it all of a sudden women being oppressed by it? Isn't it both parties responsibility to be safe? So we decided to have fun with them. I myself along with another girl and her husband created an anatomically correct Trojan horse!! Get it?!?! Well if you're complaining you either don't get it or are as equally offended.

3. How about OMG They were BLACK boxes?!?! Where are all the colored folk screaming about their feelings?! Or it started out short but then got taller. HEIGHT EQUALITY!! I'm 100% for all equality. But this isn't how you go about it. I recently had a get together at CircleCityCon in June called #girlpowerlunch Bondage & Backups. This was met with a little bit of scrutiny and some girls in infosec getting their panties all bunched up and acting like they were on a high school cheer leading squad again. Again let me reiterate, if it's something that you don't agree with ignore it. Unless it's a blatant disregard of human life or someone is going to seriously get (physically) hurt.

4. Almost every guy that I've met in this industry is extremely open and willing to teach everyone and anyone what they know and their passion. Yes there are assholes out there. But that's life. So how about we pick out the people that are actually being jerks and ostracize them instead.
In summary: grow a fucking pair and get a sense of humor

EDIT:

After another "incident" at Shmoocon 2015 A friend of mine decided to try and approach the topic as well and also nails it in the article and responses in the comments.

http://www.iamit.org/blog/2015/01/sensationalism-doing-more-damage-than-good/comment-page-1/#comment-933

Which made me also add this, a shortened portion of a conversation that I've had with an abundance of people.

5. I know a decent amount of people in this industry that are into the con circuit. Each and every one of them would come to someone's help if there was an act of harassment or worse happening. No it doesn't always happen in public, but sometimes it does. That's what we do. we stick up for each other, we have each other's backs, we're a family. Taking care of our own is what we do.